The Lindsay Lohan Manifesto

December 7, 2006
By

It’s offical – wonder no more. Lindsay Lohan really is insane. She seems to think now that politicians are going to put their lives on the back burner to defend her good name & help her seek vengeance against tabloids and gossip-mongers. I can barely contain a roar of laughter, yet I have read the semi-coherent e-mail she sent via Blackberry and I am, at this point, not even sure she is literate. To see the e-mail in it’s entirety (if you dare) go here. This is an excerpt:

“Al Gore will help me he came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me. If he is willing to help me, let’s find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK. I’d really like to fix things and refuse to stop on any account for these unintelligent, vulgar people who like to hurt other people. Not just me, but everyone.”

I graciously decided not to punish the masses by posting the entire thing. It took me a while to skim over this half-wit rambling that basically says she will soon unleash her wrath on all that laugh at her and call her names. She is under the impression that she has a reputation to protect. I can almost picture her rubbing her hands together and shouting “Vengeance will be mine!” Of course, that would make her look more like the Fly than Dr. Evil, but doesn’t she already?



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3 Responses to “The Lindsay Lohan Manifesto”

  1. 1
    McCain Says:

    She is such a messss! I wonder if Lindsay, Paris, and Britney could merge themselves into one complete brain.

  2. 2
    Joe Citizen Says:

    Katie—good job. Now do another one!!!

    McCain—Not a f**king chance.

    Lindsay—Go to the Betty Ford Clinic before you go broke. Maybe you can salvage some sort of career out of this mess you call life when you are “well”. If you don’t have a heroin problem, just say you do. Hollywood loves recovering addicts, but has little patients for nuts.

  3. 3
    salote Says:

    kanye is a punk. i dont care if people say that he was drunk…thats probaly the most disrespectful thing that he couldve done to girl, a lady no less! first he bashes on bush, and now taylor swift??? ummm…no. homeboy needs to get his head outta his ass and grow up! eff him. and yes, please do boycott his wack music. jealousssss fag.